Waits Family Annals

I have a thing about Pooh. It’s not that I think Winnie the Pooh is annoying, it’s that I think his influence on society is detrimental to progress. Winnie the Pooh, and all the characters in the 100 Acre Wood teach its followers to be lazy, indolent and disregard consequences. Industry is scorned, idleness is praised. And not the gentlemanly idleness spoken of by Tom Hodgkinson, but the insidious laziness taught by the likes of Shaggy, Ghandi and Matthew McConaughey. If you sit around long enough, things will inevitably be different. Even Cobra Commander from the popular 1980′s cartoon GI Joe had the initiative to organize hundreds, if not thousands, of people to become terrorists that fight against the American Way and Dick Cheney (He was mentioned in season 2. And he served two terms as President of Acting of the United States of America. Seriously. Read the article). If Winnie the Pooh wanted to start a new world order, he would wait until someone else did it and eat honey in the meantime. Winnie the Pooh is the reason my generation does not go out and vote. He is the reason why batteries only last for 8 hours. He is the reason why our world languishes in mediocrity and science fails to progress. If it wasn’t for Pooh, perhaps more women would be involved in Computer Science. Going through the key characters I will show you why Pooh is the second worst influence on society behind James Cameron’s Avatar– they teach us to strive for pedestrian banalities rather than true success in life, art, and relationships.

Piglet is the poster-child for peer pressure. He knows better, but is surrounded by individuals  who influence him to do things contrary to his nature. Yet he caves. Every time. The results of his actions are not condemned, but celebrated. Be one of them. If you feel the crowd you are with is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, go along with it. Soon enough, you will like it. And who you thought you should be will be a distant memory. Perhaps the guilt of abandoning the person you wanted to be will fade with time.

Tigger inspired one of the most dangerous life philosophies: indulgence. If you feel something, indulge it. If your body introduces a desire, indulge it. Throw self control in the garbage, and satisfy every desire whenever it hits you. Why wait? There are no real consequences as long as you have fun doing what your body wants you to do. How many people have been ensnared by this philosophy, and pay the price with serious consequences they did not foresee because they did it in the name of fun. If an unwanted consequence comes into your life– get rid of it. It is not really your responsibility; someone else will take care of it. Thanks, Tigger.

When things don’t go your way– cry about it until you are the center of attention and people change all the rules to make you happy. As they go out of their way to make you happy, spit on their efforts to manipulate them into doing even more. Do not be satisfied until every time you come in a room, people walk on eggshells to get you what you want. Who taught us this? That’s right! Eeyore. Master manipulator. When in doubt, the best course of action is to bring everyone around you down.

Rabbit is a character who is scorned for his preparation. He is the only character who actually works to provide for himself. Whenever anyone else needs anything, they steal it from Rabbit, then tell him to relax when he is angered. “What’s mine is your’s,” they want children to believe. If someone else has something, you have every right to take it for yourself– even if you have spent your time playing around and disregarding the consequences. If Rabbit did not prepare anything in the 100 Acre Wood, nothing would get done. Not even Sora could help them then.

Christopher Robin is the self-centered, self-appointed, all important being of the wood. The animals are there to serve his fancy. Should they choose to do something he won’t deign to do, he simply leaves, or calls them silly. Either they do it Christopher Robin’s way, or they leave. No one’s interests are as important as his, and, therefore not worth pursuing. Kids are quickly taught not to collaborate with other people’s desires. If it does not line up with what you want to do, then leave– abandon them.

And then the was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. Or should I say Whiny the Pooh. All the bear eats is honey. He eschews a well-rounded diet and prefers meals of sugar. Why not get a good salmon from the river or eat a delicious rabbit or two? Because that requires the effort of leaving one’s home! He sits around his tree and complains that he is hungry. And what is his plan? To steal food from someone who has made it; be it from bees or other characters in the wood. He gets other people to do his work for him. In essence, Pooh has instilled and perpetuated the welfare state in each generation what watches him. “Don’t worry about taking care of yourself. There are others who work hard so you don’t have to. Reap the fruits of their labors,” Pooh whispers to the impressionable child.

Following these “principles,” people don’t work to build a better world. They will not stretch themselves to make their dreams a reality. They walk around feeling entitled to a life they did not earn. Hard work is left to the way side and science fails to advance, banks fail, and car industries implode. All because we are taught at a very young age to let our passions guide us, rather than guide our passions. To live off other’s sweat, rather than break our own sweat for our bread. If it weren’t for Winnie the Pooh, there may still be dignity in this world, but it is a lost virtue.