I have a thing about Pooh. It’s not that I think Winnie the Pooh is annoying, it’s that I think his influence on society is detrimental to progress. Winnie the Pooh, and all the characters in the 100 Acre Wood teach its followers to be lazy, indolent and disregard consequences. Industry is scorned, idleness is praised. And not the gentlemanly idleness spoken of by Tom Hodgkinson, but the insidious laziness taught by the likes of Shaggy, Ghandi and Matthew McConaughey. If you sit around long enough, things will inevitably be different. Even Cobra Commander from the popular 1980’s cartoon GI Joe had the initiative to organize hundreds, if not thousands, of people to become terrorists that fight against the American Way and Dick Cheney (He was mentioned in season 2. And he served two terms as President of Acting of the United States of America. Seriously. Read the article). If Winnie the Pooh wanted to start a new world order, he would wait until someone else did it and eat honey in the meantime. Winnie the Pooh is the reason my generation does not go out and vote. He is the reason why batteries only last for 8 hours. He is the reason why our world languishes in mediocrity and science fails to progress. If it wasn’t for Pooh, perhaps more women would be involved in Computer Science. Going through the key characters I will show you why Pooh is the second worst influence on society behind James Cameron’s Avatar– they teach us to strive for pedestrian banalities rather than true success in life, art, and relationships.
Jan 14
