So I have a tendency to make jokes about people and things I probably shouldn’t. Every now and then, it comes back to bite me. My foot is not that delicious, but I eat it anyway. In my youth and college days, I was frequently the one that would end any line of jokes. More often than not, I would say something and everyone would turn and look at me as if I had just peed on a sacred relic, then shake their heads and walk away. It’s okay, don’t pity me. I got used to it. Now I tell the jokes in my head. I wish there was a way to just stop them from coming to mind. But, hey, at least I found my filter. Right? It’s extra mentholated (Wow. Who knew “mentholated” was even a word?). The following recently came up over a dinner conversation, and I felt it important to get out there. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. I kept mine, because I’m no innocent in these matters.
In 1996, I was Freshman at International School Bangkok (ISB). I wish I could say I was one of the cool kids, but I don’t think I can… and that applied to just about everywhere I went to school. ISB did house my largest group of friends. It must have been the hat I insisted on wearing to school (it had a +9 toward attracting friends and chicks)… or the troll on my shelf (+2 against Jerks who made me cry). We had our share of shenanigans. Good shenanigans, but shenanigans nonetheless. Perhaps I will write of them here one day. Unfortunately, I know my parents silently lurk in the Interwebs, and I don’t want to cause anyone’s premature death. No, today I wish to relate one of the most intense political battles I can remember. Michael Moore (yes, that Michael Moore) once told me as we walked to the bus that he was going to make a documentary about this race and my involvement in it. He did, and it won him an Oscar. Two of them in fact.
I have a thing about Pooh. It’s not that I think Winnie the Pooh is annoying, it’s that I think his influence on society is detrimental to progress. Winnie the Pooh, and all the characters in the 100 Acre Wood teach its followers to be lazy, indolent and disregard consequences. Industry is scorned, idleness is praised. And not the gentlemanly idleness spoken of by Tom Hodgkinson, but the insidious laziness taught by the likes of Shaggy, Ghandi and Matthew McConaughey. If you sit around long enough, things will inevitably be different. Even Cobra Commander from the popular 1980′s cartoon GI Joe had the initiative to organize hundreds, if not thousands, of people to become terrorists that fight against the American Way and Dick Cheney (He was mentioned in season 2. And he served two terms as President of Acting of the United States of America. Seriously. Read the article). If Winnie the Pooh wanted to start a new world order, he would wait until someone else did it and eat honey in the meantime. Winnie the Pooh is the reason my generation does not go out and vote. He is the reason why batteries only last for 8 hours. He is the reason why our world languishes in mediocrity and science fails to progress. If it wasn’t for Pooh, perhaps more women would be involved in Computer Science. Going through the key characters I will show you why Pooh is the second worst influence on society behind James Cameron’s Avatar– they teach us to strive for pedestrian banalities rather than true success in life, art, and relationships.
We finished renovating the Baby’s Room last week. We resurfaced all the walls, redid the electrical (knob and tube wires are not the safest), installed new lights, laid a floor and painted everything. It only took us six months. My excuse is that it is hard to work on stuff when everyone has other jobs. Again, we owe a huge amount of thanks to our awesome neighbor who continues to teach me how to actually do the stuff we do. He also lets us borrow his tools. And additional thanks goes out to Doug who has let us use his nail gun for almost a year now. It has been great for installing base boards and the pigeon problem. Follow the jump for before and after shots!
Spontaneous Pneumothorax
Posted by Todd on Saturday Apr 12, 2008 Under Todd
To start off the Blog of Waits Annals, I thought it would be best to show Todd’s hospital visit. Todd had a spontaneous pneumothorax. It was very shocking to us, and he actually lived a week without the use of his right lung until he finally decided to go to the doctors. They were shocked he was stable and sent us straight to the hospital where he stayed for four days with a chest tube.
